An open letter to the gentlemen choosing to whine on a lady this carnival.

The Ten Whining Commandments

1. Thou shalt not smell stink

Look as much as the actual whining is important you just hadda make sure that you are coming from a land of soap and baby powder.

2. Thou shalt not act as if women are something to hunt

We know some of you feel scouting for a bumper to whine on is like a lion looking for meat in the Serengeti. Just cool, when you see a girl whining don’t jump on her!

3. Honour thy beat and thy rhythm

If you can’t dance in time then please just leave it alone. You have no idea how much us ladies get irritated when a sweet song comes on and we are about to commence the sweetest whine and someone with no rhythm tries to intrude.

4. My feet-eth do not lift from thy ground unless I say so-eth

It’s pretty simple really, just because you feel you can lift someone doesn’t mean you should. To be honest it doesn’t sweeten the whine and you probably can’t lift them so it only just ends up with you dropping someone and getting caught in a whining pile on the floor.

5. Thou shalt not bear false witness about how good you can whine

Don’t hype up your whine, if it’s good let it be that and just be happy within yourself. If she comes back and finds you for a second whine know you are on point.

6. Thou shalt not covet a whine during a tune designed to jump up

You ever try to whine on someone and she looks at you so disgusted like ‘really? It’s now you chose to come and whine on meh’. It’s because this is not the song to be taking a whine to, just smile and chip away. Save yourself the embarrassment.

7. Thou shalt not take the lyrics of Machel in vain

It doesn’t improve your whine to shout lyrics in our ears. Just pelt waist and feel the tune, you can sing but you doh have to scream down di place.

8. Thou shalt not cuss bad words if the attempt is unsuccessful

There is nothing more annoying than being whined on when you don’t want to, and then having a sour attitude about it is very tasteless so fix up.

9. Thou shalt not change the pace of the whine

Look let her run the pace. If she’s moving at the pace of Party Done and you trying to slow whine to Loner it’s just rude. Follow her pace and her direction. If yuh can’t keep up then move on.

10. Thou shalt not over stay their welcome

Long and short of it is, unless she’s really engaged in it you shouldn’t be there for longer than a chorus and a couple lines of a verse. If the DJ done mix and your still there then you’re just greedy.